User blog:Showdown616/Boycott the Caf: Smash Into You
Enjoy! Smash Into You (1) Hide yo kids, Hide yo wife, Gary Coleman's midget ass is driving. Lord have mercy this is an accident just waiting to happen. So anyway, MiniMe is ranting about how much he wants Alli back. I still can't get over the fact some bitch was desperate enough to let Dave inside her. Ugh, don't even. So anyway, Dave is bitching how this desperate hoe keeps texting him. Lord, I...I just can't fathom this. I mean this girl wants the D from DAVE!?! But anyway, like the fool he is, Dave starts taking advice from Dreamy Torres OF ALL PEOPLE. That's like asking an alocholic how to cut back on drinking. NOT A GOOD IDEA. So Dumbass Dreamy plants the idea in Dave's mind that this mystery hoe is pregnant. UGH! First I have to imagine Dave's goofy ass having sex now a BABY?! These writers are testing me. But anyway we all if Dave were to procreate it wouldn't be human. So that's the end of that. So Katniss the Evil Cunt injured her knee in the Hunger Games so Hazel-Chantay has to step in model UN, like she really gives a damn. But on a more important matter: IS IT POSSIBLE. HAZEL-CHANTAY GETTING A PLOT!?!? Lord Jesus it's a fire. But anyway Perino the Hun assigns Hazel-Chantay to work with someone so irrelevant he doesn't even get a nickname. We'll call him Bodyguard. So there's some filler ass c plot with Manny knockoff, Zig Zag, and Kurt. I think Adam is in it and OF FUCKING COURSE Clurr. Damn this bitch just won't go away. She's like a growth on a leg. Here instead of explaining this dumb ass plot, I'll show pics instead So Bhandari's been on that crack pipe again. She talks to Dave again. And what's worse: there's a makeout scene. Seriously writers you never show us Sean's ass but you show us this garbage instead. Ugh, Watching them make out is like watching a wildebeast make love to road kill. So like the dumb hoe she is, Alli takes back Dave. Good lord. So they're at the model Un thing when this bitch in red looking with bangs under her eyes wider than Bianca's pussy comes up to Dave. So this is the bitch. Apparently her name is Janitor. I knew she was on kush and alcohol but not that good kush and alcohol. Dave tells her to GFTO but of course she ain't gonna listen. So then Bhandari comes up and greets her all happily like she's June Cleaver or something, unaware that this is the hoe who screwed your man. Or in Dave's case, who screwed your pet midget. Long story short, Dave puts Janitor in the car and drives her far away. But like all dogs are, she finds her way back.... So back to Hazel-Chantay, she hates working with Bodyguard and he hates her and they do nothing but drive each other crazy. So of course, Hazel-Chantay is mortified when Katniss the Evil Cunt and Dreamy suggests she has a thing for Bodyguard. Like seriously, Dreamy STFU you know jackshit. Keep your mouth closed. Hazel-Chantay is grossed out at first but maybe there is some truth to it... Category:Blog posts